"I think the one thing that has affected me was this nonrecipricol love affair between me + this boy, fun. It went on for 5 years + we only touched sexually a few times. I've compared all my lovers to him, + the majority of guys I've been w/ resembled him in some fashion whether it be only sexually, emotionally or mentally"

"The thing that impacted my life in a major way was the romance with a yonger man I met in internet dating. Prior to meeting him I thought it impossible to love commonality with someone ten years younger than me. He is actually wiser, and more mature than me in so many ways - emotionally, sexually, & spiritually and then his ex wife wanted him back so I had to let go & hope he would come back to me. As of this writing I am still waiting & hoping." – J. L.

"Plain and simple. I took all the drugs (prescription and otherwise) I could find in my apartment with a manhattan chaser. I turned on Basquiat with the volume off and waited for the pain to subside. I don't remember what happened until I woke up with a tube down my throat and a hospital gown and my parents crying in the corner. My cell phone was full of messages of people I though didn't care, saying they did. So what was my life changing event? A switch being flipped in my self conscious. My abandonment from the quest towards death and deciding I might be ok living."


"The thing that impacted my life the most would be breast cancer. It was a brick wall that taught me about real life. Honesty, truth and love. All of us get the chance to live life to the fullest experience. It's about who we really are not who others want us to be. We are all connected and worthy of love. Life is great enjoy!" – D.

"8/17/05 - So this guy approaches me in a bar to write about my own life's impacts. Where should I start? I am 28 and I have been transformed by each day. Each relationship, each experience by people I meet and each travel I have made. I feel that perception & expectations have changed my life. Is it the disappointment by people that have hurt me or the expectations that I have for myself & others that have fallen short. Let's not beat around the bush this American mentality, hedonisst approach to relationships does not work for me. Why does averyone want ratification now? Is everyone still finding themselves? How long does it take prior to figure out their beliefs, wants and passions? Everone I meet is incapable of giving and only capable of taking. Wher do I fit in? A whole reason just waiting to share my life with someone. Is anyone going to want what I have to often or are probably seeking from others what can they do for me? Unselfish love does it exist? A whole person trying to find another. People try to wear to many masks covering who they really are. Why can't people just expose themselves? Just get to it who are you - what do you want?"

“One bar experience that had a huge impact on me was one that involved a very upset customer who I was serving. He came in with some buddies in the early afternoon – typical construction worker types – and proceeded trying to get smashed. One fellow in particular seemed pretty worked up, and was whispering to his friends about something, and naturally, I turned a deaf ear. But soon his friends began laughing hysterically, and his face dropped further. They told me that there was something their friend had to tell me. I had no idea what it could be, until he said he thought he was going to break up with his girl later. Of course I asked why, and his friends nearly dropped to the floor in hysteria. Turns out he was really sad and depressed because his girlfriend said she needed to show him something. Being the good boyfriend, he asked what it was, and she proceeded to put his hands down her pants, directly onto some horrendous hemhorroid that sprouted overnight. The man was traumatized beyond rectification, and he was driven to sit at my bar, get smashed, and finally cry. This was quite possibly the most sad, strange, and ultimately life altering experience I have ever witnessed in a bar. – K.S. 8/13/05”

“Moving to West Chester, PA from San Diego, California…. I knew life would be different, but holy shit ‘different’ ain’t the right word. Adjusting to cold winter days, skipping over the shortest spring, diving right into the hottest summer heat only to find we are on the tail of winter yet again. Life in San Diego is now like a dream + referring back to that dream only makes me want it more. So tomorrow I am getting into my Volkswagen Jetta Station Wagon + heading back west to San Diego, where I no longer have to fight with weather + no longer have to succumb to life indoors. Coming here helped me heal, helped me see, helped me to realize the importance of Family, the importance of connection + love + most of all the importance of being selfish + happy. – M. H. 8/9/05”


“In a bar
I danced
For the first time
In public
Yep, me
Ms. Self Conscious
Always inhibited
Self conscious
Concerned
I felt
Free
Amazing
Maybe even sexy
I still get that feeling
Sometimes
Well, most of the time
Dancing
In a bar
-E. M. 8/13/05”


“Music. When I was a kid, & used to ride in the car with my step-father, we listened to what is popularly known today as ‘classic rock’. To him it was the only music. And we all know that music is life, right? So we rode , & we listened, & then after I learned enough, we sang it:

‘In the sunshine of your love…’
‘All along the watchtower…’
‘You don’t have to be a weatherman to know which way the wind blows…’
‘Me & Bobby McGee…’

Then, once I knew the words, we would sit & wait for a song to come on –
One, two, three notes & then he turns the radio off. ‘name it?’ ‘the Byrds’
‘Yep.’ And off we would go. Eight miles High, not even needing the music - but he would turn it back up. Music.”

“I have done many things in my life. I would have to say the one most vivid, that stands out most to me is my experiences in San Francisco, developing my skills as a piercing artist w/Master Shaman Fakir Musafar. The piercing aside, it was the energy that encompassed my surroundings that was moving. There were a small handful of us all joined together in one of the oldest bathhouses still standing – in San Francisco. On the final day of our experiences we each partook in a ceremonial rite of passage. People were pierced, mind you in a sterile environment, music was played, chanting was sung, some were dancing, but the energy and emotions in the room were magical. Pure and intense almost indescribable. I have never had another experience like it. Magic and Beauty. – T. Z. 8/13/5